methlabrador:

[tour guide voice] now if i could direct you to your left. then to your right. bring it back now yall

snorlaxatives:

99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times

locked dad out the house and wouldn’t let him in until he answered a psychology question that i’m revising. he says he can’t wait till i move out

L’esprit de l’escalier